You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
