I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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