So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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