Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
