I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
