A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
this is an emotional support booty call
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
