I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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