suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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