Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this just has baby written all over it
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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