You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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