I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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