the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize