watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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