Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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