Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
