I just threw up on my dentist
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
