I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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