apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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