I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
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Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
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