Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
