Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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