we made out on top of his cat.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want to fling myself into the sun
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
