forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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