is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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