who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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