Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
