I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
