How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
