respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He? As in you personified your dick?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
