I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
