saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
jump out the window naked night went bad
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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