"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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