is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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