Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
