I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
