listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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