I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
