We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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