The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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