I puked a lego.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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