Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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