Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
