Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
