today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
