I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
