ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
