New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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