Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize