before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
