Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
