The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
