pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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