I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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