dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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