this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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