I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
