Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
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