wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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