I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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