my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
