tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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